I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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