We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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