it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
