I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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