I'm going to jail i love you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
