the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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