Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
