I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
