That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk