I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.