Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis http://tfl.nu/e9da
  Replies (27) Good night (872) Bad night (4678)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone http://tfl.nu/v4em
  Replies (29) Good night (837) Bad night (4086)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night http://tfl.nu/qsqx
  Replies (10) Good night (966) Bad night (5006)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8914) Bad night (2310)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?! http://tfl.nu/x2ya
  Replies (14) Good night (1156) Bad night (4249)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game. http://tfl.nu/5fqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2311) Bad night (1605)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by. (208): I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby. http://tfl.nu/looi
  Replies (7) Good night (1800) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1782) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling. http://tfl.nu/5feo
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars. http://tfl.nu/rfvc
  Replies (2) Good night (1938) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (1337) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices http://tfl.nu/5rdl
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket http://tfl.nu/seng
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now http://tfl.nu/qh57
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (411)

Randomize