He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
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Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.