I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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