smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
