This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I will pee on everything he values.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
