Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
