I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
