all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The air was thick with penises
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
