youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
