woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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