I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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