Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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