there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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