I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
