you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize