that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
