my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
