Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
