hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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