if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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