I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize