Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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