Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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