You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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