My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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