I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
