This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
