I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
