Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize