All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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