New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
