Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
