Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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