just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
