what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
