Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
