Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
