I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
