Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
