You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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