Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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