I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
