Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
someone owes me an orgasm
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
