Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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