Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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