we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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