When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
