think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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