There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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