Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
