we're chasing vodka with high fives
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
