You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
