My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
