i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
