I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
