PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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