She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
