i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
