playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
